12 Reasons Why Gay Marriage Should Be Illegal

  1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control.
  2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can’t legally get married because the world needs more children.
  3. Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
  4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage is allowed, since Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.
  5. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are property, blacks can’t marry whites, and divorce is illegal.
  6. Gay marriage should be decided by people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of the minorities.
  7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.
  8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
  9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
  10. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why single parents are forbidden to raise children.
  11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven’t adapted to things like cars or longer life-spans.
  12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a “separate but equal” institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages for gays and lesbians will
This is a satirical list, in case the dark humor and satire escaped you. The list was found posted on numerous sources online, and the author is unknown.

5 thoughts on “12 Reasons Why Gay Marriage Should Be Illegal

  1. Pingback: Food for Thought: 12 Reasons Why Gay Marriage Should Be Illegal | The Open Wall

  2. Regarding anything that pertains to closed mindedness in this new era of exploring into the unlimited potential of mankind and free from damnable ancient religious illusionary make up beliefs of anthropomorphic gods it is time we quit labelling and judging others because of the rights of freedom of choice humans have to opt what and however they wish to experience the life on this planet, providing that their freedoms does not infringe on others expressing their freedoms.
    Judgement, labelling are only the expression of your inner state of who you think you are at this stage of your inner experience in life. It has nothing to do with the outer world you just mirror yourself.
    If you want to make a difference for the good of life on earth start first with an insight of yourself. Through this insight transformation will then happen. When you transform you help others around you transform too. Then outside events will be accepted and observed as it is. Not as you think or labelled based on illusions from your past experiences and borrowed beliefs. You have become an observer a positive influence in the world.

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